I spoke to a board member of a large organization that hosted a big event every few years. The event was cancelled during COVID. Board members had given extra restricted donations because of the event. When asked if they wanted the money back, the board member remembered why she joined the board in the first place. She and her fellow board members centered on the mission.

As told by a board member somewhere in the USA.

The Event That Never Happened

I serve on the Foundation Board for a large national organization. This is the fundraising board—not the governing board—so our main role is to raise money. That includes both asking others to give and making sizable personal donations ourselves.

Every few years, the organization participates in a major international event. Board members are invited to attend with VIP treatment in exchange for an additional donation. This donation is considered a restricted donation – to be used for the event. There are different packages depending on how fancy you want to go, and part of the donation covers things like food, hotel, and some transportation. The rest goes toward event costs—staff travel, programming, and logistics.

I was on the board during COVID. My spouse and I had selected our package and booked our flights. The event was shaping up to be amazing, and everyone was really excited. Then the pandemic hit.

At first, the organization postponed the event for a year. Back then, we thought the delay would be temporary. They asked if we would just let our donations ride, and of course we all said yes.

But as the second year of COVID rolled around, it became clear the event still would not happen. So, they canceled it entirely and decided to wait until the next cycle. The problem? We had all already paid for our packages.

A Difficult Conversation

At the next board meeting—held on Zoom, of course—our CEO addressed the issue head-on. They didn’t know exactly how much could be reimbursed but estimated maybe 40%. Hotel and food costs might be recoverable, but the funds spent on programming and staff couldn’t be returned. Then they asked us: Do you want your money back?

Silence. No one said a word. Just blank stares across the screen.

I Was Compelled to Speak Up

I spoke up.

I said, “For me, when I joined this board, I committed to supporting the organization. It’s about the mission. I don’t need my money back. Sure, I’m disappointed, but the mission is more important.”

After a pause, I saw people nodding. Then a private Zoom chat popped up from the CEO: “Thank you. I can’t tell you how grateful I am you said that.” The staff had expected people to ask for refunds.

But for me, it was about realigning with our purpose. Why was I on this board? Was it just to attend a cool event? No. I was here to support the mission—and that hadn’t changed.

Leadership Is About Values

Board service isn’t just about events or perks. It’s about leadership rooted in values. Yes, it is easy to get swept up in the excitement of a big event. But we have to pause and recenter: Why am I really here?

Phrases like “find your why” or “focus on the mission” can sound cliché. But they matter. It is easy to get distracted—by status, complexity, ego, even just wanting things to go as planned. But board service is not about being the smartest person in the room or protecting your personal investment. It’s about advancing the mission.

Mission First, Ego Last

After I shared my thoughts, you could feel the shift. People remembered: Right, we are here to support this organization. That’s what matters most.

Board meetings come with good news, bad news, emotions, and tough calls. What carries us through is staying grounded in our values. Yes, I have money and expertise to offer, but more than that, I have values—and I want my values to guide how I show up.

Some folks join boards for the wrong reasons—networking, prestige, resume-building. But if you are in it for the mission, the hard decisions get easier.

Credit to Leadership

I also want to acknowledge how well the organization handled it. They did not wait until the last minute. They came to us early, were transparent about the uncertainty, and asked for input. That kind of honesty builds trust. And knowing we did not expect refunds helped them plan responsibly.

This Story Was About Money… But It Could Be Anything

Yes, this situation was about COVID and money. But it could just as easily be about something else—a strategic plan you poured hours into that suddenly gets shelved because of a new partnership, a natural disaster, or an unexpected shift in the landscape.

In that moment, you have a choice. You can say, “Are you kidding me? I worked so hard on that!” Or you can say, “That was my gift to the organization. If it is useful, great. If not, that is okay too. Things change.”

The more we leave ego at the door, the better. We do not have time for ego.

Lessons Learned

• Support the mission first. That is the foundation of board service.
• Let your values guide your decisions. Especially when things are uncertain.
• Have the courage to speak up. Your voice may help re-center the group.
• Do not let ego get in the way. Leadership means being flexible, humble, and mission driven.